snakewithbigteeth – Professional Contestants

ProCo 247: Do You Like Jigsaw? Check Yes or No – Saw VI

SHOW NOTES

Happy belated Snake Day everyone! We once again will be celebrating the only way we know how, by submitting ourselves to the next horrible installment of the Saw franchise. Will Zach pay enough attention to remember the plot of the movie at all? Will Jared be unnecessarily mean to Tobin Bell’s performance? Will Adam be able to hide the fact that he actually likes these movies a little bit? Tune in to our sixth installment to find out!

Zach skipped part of the movie, Jared has some Oogie Boogie related questions, and Adam remembers the extended plot of Saw way too well.

Talking Points Include: A 4DX Experience, Attempting to Summarize Saw, Tobin Bell’s Masked Singer, Trap By Trap Breakdown, The Dog Pound, Saw is Becoming Predictable, Jigsaw Family Feud, Importance of Flexibility, A Meta Saw Finale

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November 14, 2023

ProCo 246: It’s Frankenstein’s Birthday and You’re Invited – All-Star Halloween Spectacular

SHOW NOTES

Picture this. Halloween night is quickly approaching. You are hard at work getting together your costume and want to make sure you have the best possible plans to show it off. You’re struggling to find the right event, and then you get the email. You’re invited. Frankenstein’s birthday. DM for address. What would you do to make it to that party? Answer: absolutely anything.

Zach trusts Fester to go get ice, Jared pushes for a Frasier reboot with Dracula, and Adam wants watermellon.

Talking Points Include: I Want Watermellon, Mail Corner, Mr. Peabody’s March To The Sea, Creepy House/PeePee House, Mount Rushmore of Spooky Figures, Come for Frankenstein Stay for Fester, Frank’s Place, Can I Be Frank?, Frankenstein’s Presidential Pardon

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October 30, 2023

ProCo 245: Bear Turismo – Jim Henson’s Creature Shop Challenge

SHOW NOTES

I think it’s safe to say that many CEOs of big companies have daddy issues, and if Inception has taught us anything, it’s that by exploiting those daddy issues, you can get said CEO to give up their company. All we need to do is adapt it for our situation. Get rid of all the dream stuff, add a hyper realistic puppet of Jim Henson, maybe a little bit of Leo Dicaprio in a bear suit to boot, and before you know it we’ll be the puppet master CEOs of Jim Henson’s Creature Shop!

Zach insists the Hardy Boys will lead us to victory, Jared thinks Banksy is Gonzo, and Adam wants to do an Ernie.

Talking Points Include: Real No Water Emergen-C, Veto Veto Veto, Enjoying The Spooky Season, We Love Puppeteers, First Idea Worst Idea, The First Ever Inside Kiss, Henson Inception, An Exclusive Reveal of Banksy’s Identity, The Muppets Do A Manhattan Project

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October 9, 2023

ProCo 217: Butter Us Up and Slip Away – Saw 5

SHOW NOTES

Happy Snake Day! As is our burden once every year, we return to you having viewed the next unfortunate installment in the Saw franchise. Did we finally find a Saw movie we enjoy? Well… let’s just say we were happy to have the final few entries in the Apple Orchard Monster saga to talk about afterward as a palate clenser.

Zach want’s everyone in Saw to wear a nametag, Jared encourages deep breathing and clear thinking, and Adam tries (and fails) to correctly use a classic theatrical term.

Talking Points Include: We’ve Got Jump Scares, Our Snake Day Costumes, Saw Keeps Getting Worse, Rocky Bababooey, The Obligatory Kramer vs Kramer Joke, We’ve Got Mail, Apple Orchard Monster Ends

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October 31, 2022

ProCo 216: Bless This Pump – Punkin Chunkin

SHOW NOTES

We tried to take a break from strictly spooky vibes today in favor of something just a bit more fall themed, but the scariest things aren’t always ghosts and ghouls. Some may say the scariest thing is damnation, and these Punkin Popes are gonna be sure this pumpkin goes to Heaven.

Zach builds catapults every year, Jared plans to save the pumpkin’s soul, and Adam want’s to hack a drone into the pumpkin.

Talking Points Include: Pre-Saw Blues, Chianti-o’s, Apple Orchard Monster Continued, Forbidden Fruit of the Loom, Redneck Engineering, Our Bad Catapult Experience, Our Good Catapult Experience, Pumpkin Rapture

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October 27, 2022

ProCo 215: Tight Ass, I Punch – Fight of the Living Dead

SHOW NOTES

Jared has long preached about his rule that applies not just to haunted houses, but life at large: if someone touches you, you can touch them back. However, those rules may apply more to this game show than any other we’ve done before. Everyone step back, becasue we’re gonna punch doors, we’re gonna punch actors, we might even punch a nun! Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Zach hates most YouTubers, Jared will fight The Pope, and Adam truly misunderstands what a worm is.

Talking Points Include: A True Navy Seal, What Even Is a Mammal, Professor Oak Lays Eggs, Even More Apple Orchard Monster Lore, A Relic of YouTube Red, Return of Haunted House Rules, Getting Paddled, We’re Gonna Wreck It

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October 17, 2022

ProCo 214: Ernest Goes to Boot Camp – Flinch

SHOW NOTES

As we continue to march further into the spookiest of all the months, we also continue our trend of spending half of the episode talking at length about the deep fiction surrounding the Apple Orchard Monster. We know what you want, so here it is – thirty minutes of the actual original journal entries detailing the story of Zach and Adam’s childhood backyard spectres, and thirty minutes of a game show that is going to drive us straight into the arms of a drill instructor.

Zach loves seeing people get shocked, Jared hates how quickly the show goes ‘Jackass’, and Adam reveals two of his five favorite things.

Talking Points Include: Zach’s Peanut Butter Debacle, The Journal of Jonathon Crabtree, A New Different Jack The Ripper, Monster Hash, Loving The Pain, Tank Insurance, Earnest Goes to The Hype House

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October 12, 2022

ProCo 213: The Apple Orchard Monster Extended Lore – Escape the Undertaker

SHOW NOTES

Welcome back all you witches and ghouls, the most slithery time of the year has returned! That’s right, Snake With Big Teeth is upon us once again. This year, we kick off our celebration the only way we know how, going on a spooky themed tangent for about 20 minutes and then trying to figure out what The Undertaker’s greatest fear might be. One thing we know for sure, it isn’t sandwiches.

Zach accidentally reveals his actual greatest fear, Jared thinks The Undertaker might be scared of a strip tease, and Adam has never been on a Haunted Hayride.

Talking Points Include: A Special Snake With Big Teeth Month, The Haunted Hayride, Uninspired Monster Names, A WWE Crash Course, The Magic of The Urn, Grimace Island, The Undertaker’s Sandwich Strength, Shaping Our Biggest Fears

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October 3, 2022

ProCo Episode 175: Beauty and The Jigsaw – Saw IV

SHOW NOTES

We know what you’re thinking. Why would we continue this tradition if we hate the Saw movies so much? Honestly, we’re not sure. Even OUR commitment to bits isn’t THAT strong. But as the movies get more convoluted, our plans reach both extremes. Meaning? We are either going to time travel, or do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

Zach’s tummy hurts, Jared makes a legally binding Saw Pact, and Adam stumbles over a long winded movie synopsis.

Talking Points Include: Snake Day, Saw Books, Production Background, The Gilmore Guy, Saw at Home, Baby’s First Trap, Don’t Burst Through Doors, Jigsaw’s Gag Reflex, A Very Good Production Calendar, All His Traps Are Ass

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October 25, 2021

ProCo Episode 174: The 100 Year Basketball Shot – Escape the Night

SHOW NOTES

To be honest, we kinda feel like we got tricked by this show. It’s supposed to be a reality competition show, but like, its trying to be a spooky drama too? All the contestants know it isn’t real, but they still act like they believe it? Well you know what, we’ll simplify all this a bit. Let’s give em’ something to talk about, how bout’ a real life monster house.

Zach makes some startling discoveries about modern content creation, Jared remains the resident expert on Monster House, and Adam doesn’t know the difference between NCIS and CSI.

Talking Points Include: Reflection Time for Mark Harmon, We Got Tricked, All The YouTubers Zach Knows, Escape the Asteroid, Scooby-Doo On Zombie Island, Arthur Slash Fiction, Monster House Rules, Dude You’re Perfect

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October 20, 2021