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ProCo 238: You Can Give a Duck a Drink, But You Can’t Make it Go Home With You – Keep It Spotless

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Please join us in rememberance of this day. For once we have concocted a plan that not only makes sense, but also has a high chance of actually working. All we need is some hydrophobic material and a bunch of Hollywood studio quality squib rigs, Oh, and if the body scanner registers any metal in Jared’s pants, don’t worry about that. He won that medal honestly at the county fair.

Zach creates a new rule of robotics, Jared has a medal for his prize winning hog, and Adam can’t commiserate with Magnum P.I.

Talking Points Include: Grimace Christ Superstar, Magnum P.I. Fancast, High School Swim Class, Drinking at the Hotel Bar, Ocean City USA, High Slime Ratings, Mr. Clean’s False Advertising, Ducks Can’t Get Wet, Robot Camera Crew, Lie To Me Makes a Comeback

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July 31, 2023

ProCo 235: Stanley Tucci: Surviving Italy – BrainSurge

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As sure as the days grow longer and the temperature creeps higher, the Summer of Summers will return to the feed of the Professional Contestants. Once again we find ourselves facing a game show made for childen, that we as grown men are extremely capable of winning. We just need to place our intelect into something that can actually participate in the game. Something like a Boy Bot. A Boisterous Boy Bot. And if he isn’t Bashful then he’ll Bash the competition. We’re sorry.

Zach openly dislikes Ryan Seacrest, Jared dreams up a wonderful Itallian story on the spot, and Adam purports to be a maze expert.

Talking Points Include: The Summer of Summers, Summer Vibes, Perpetual Consenters, Which Candy Land Character Are You, A Low Slime Rating, Muddy Pokemon Maze, Wheel of Fortune Current Events, Buongiorni the Fruit Vendor, A Non-Bashful Boisterous Boy Bot

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July 3, 2023

ProCo 204: The Five People You Eat in Heaven – Webheads

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Christopher Booker really thought he was being slick when he said there are only 7 basic plots – but after some thoughtful research I think we’ve beat him by 4. When it comes to internet videos, there are only three plots as far as we’re concerned: guy gets hit in nuts, animal does something cool, and redneck has nice life. Dont @ us, we’ve done our homework.

Zach gets confused by the Elvis movie, Jared has three specific questions before he goes to a concert, and Adam would be bummed to meet Slimer in heaven.

Talking Points Include: Big Time Rush in 2022, Harry Styles ft. Michael Jordan, Slime Consistency, Eating Contest in Heaven, Idiot Factor Returns, Uphill Skiing, The Chuck Machine

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July 11, 2022

ProCo Episode 166: Snorlax Doesn’t Go To Church – Tooned In

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This is a weird one. It gets pretty wild, pretty quick. So if you wanna skip this one we’re not gonna be upset: in fact, we encourage it. This episode will either be the worst one yet or a cult classic. SPOILER ALERT: it’s probably the former. Anyway we make some good Snorlax jokes 40 minutes in so it’s not a total loss.

Zach shares some Hogan’s Heroes insights, Jared yearns for better slime, and Adam is a part of your morning routine.  

Talking Points Include: Rise and Shine and Check the Vibe, Wow! Our Worst Episode Yet!, A Hogan’s Hero Situation, Marshmallow Sandwich, Golden Age of Slime, Joseph Stalin’s Favorite Toons, George Lopez Has Betrayed Me, Everybody Loves Snorlax, Intimate Slimer 

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July 19, 2021

ProCo Episode 165: Water Daniel’s Penny Pockets – Paradise Run

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There are many different paths a person can take to break into the film industry. For example, you could wear a lanyard and earpiece and just try to blend in with the crew. Or if that doesn’t work you could put a crew member in danger of drowning and then save them. Or if that still doesn’t work, you could accuse that same crew member of extortion. It pays to have backup plans, ya know?

Zach explains the origins of motel pools, Jared gets carded for non-alcoholic beverages, and Adam gives insider deets on infiltrating film sets.

Talking Points Include: Summertime Political Platforms, Roller Coaster Public Transport, Barefoot Hotel, Evolutionary Hot Tub, McDonalds Birthday, Best Off Screen Kiss, Public Domain Plans

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July 12, 2021