AppleOrchardMonster

ProCo 217: Butter Us Up and Slip Away – Saw 5

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Happy Snake Day! As is our burden once every year, we return to you having viewed the next unfortunate installment in the Saw franchise. Did we finally find a Saw movie we enjoy? Well… let’s just say we were happy to have the final few entries in the Apple Orchard Monster saga to talk about afterward as a palate clenser.

Zach want’s everyone in Saw to wear a nametag, Jared encourages deep breathing and clear thinking, and Adam tries (and fails) to correctly use a classic theatrical term.

Talking Points Include: We’ve Got Jump Scares, Our Snake Day Costumes, Saw Keeps Getting Worse, Rocky Bababooey, The Obligatory Kramer vs Kramer Joke, We’ve Got Mail, Apple Orchard Monster Ends

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October 31, 2022

ProCo 216: Bless This Pump – Punkin Chunkin

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We tried to take a break from strictly spooky vibes today in favor of something just a bit more fall themed, but the scariest things aren’t always ghosts and ghouls. Some may say the scariest thing is damnation, and these Punkin Popes are gonna be sure this pumpkin goes to Heaven.

Zach builds catapults every year, Jared plans to save the pumpkin’s soul, and Adam want’s to hack a drone into the pumpkin.

Talking Points Include: Pre-Saw Blues, Chianti-o’s, Apple Orchard Monster Continued, Forbidden Fruit of the Loom, Redneck Engineering, Our Bad Catapult Experience, Our Good Catapult Experience, Pumpkin Rapture

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October 27, 2022

ProCo 214: Ernest Goes to Boot Camp – Flinch

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As we continue to march further into the spookiest of all the months, we also continue our trend of spending half of the episode talking at length about the deep fiction surrounding the Apple Orchard Monster. We know what you want, so here it is – thirty minutes of the actual original journal entries detailing the story of Zach and Adam’s childhood backyard spectres, and thirty minutes of a game show that is going to drive us straight into the arms of a drill instructor.

Zach loves seeing people get shocked, Jared hates how quickly the show goes ‘Jackass’, and Adam reveals two of his five favorite things.

Talking Points Include: Zach’s Peanut Butter Debacle, The Journal of Jonathon Crabtree, A New Different Jack The Ripper, Monster Hash, Loving The Pain, Tank Insurance, Earnest Goes to The Hype House

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October 12, 2022

ProCo 213: The Apple Orchard Monster Extended Lore – Escape the Undertaker

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Welcome back all you witches and ghouls, the most slithery time of the year has returned! That’s right, Snake With Big Teeth is upon us once again. This year, we kick off our celebration the only way we know how, going on a spooky themed tangent for about 20 minutes and then trying to figure out what The Undertaker’s greatest fear might be. One thing we know for sure, it isn’t sandwiches.

Zach accidentally reveals his actual greatest fear, Jared thinks The Undertaker might be scared of a strip tease, and Adam has never been on a Haunted Hayride.

Talking Points Include: A Special Snake With Big Teeth Month, The Haunted Hayride, Uninspired Monster Names, A WWE Crash Course, The Magic of The Urn, Grimace Island, The Undertaker’s Sandwich Strength, Shaping Our Biggest Fears

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October 3, 2022