ProCo Episode 99.5: The History of Donkey Kong – Bonus Episode

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Here you go folks, it’s the in depth analysis on Donkey Kong’s extended history that you didn’t ask for, but certainly need to hear. Join Zach and Jared as they are taken through the DK Crew’s troubling timeline by newly anointed Kong historian, Adam Decker. War, family conflict, the occupation of foreign territory to bleed it dry of its main resources, it’s all here.

Access the companion guide here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1kZKx7oEe9wQFCpe_YC4KNmVx3jM70Ru0/view?usp=sharing

You’ll need it.

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January 6, 2020

ProCo Episode 99: Tin Man’s Christmas Salad – Holiday Gingerbread Showdown

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Happy holidays to all! We actually managed to get a properly themed episode this week, where we’re facing off in an artistic baking competition against professional gingerbread artists. We know we don’t stand a chance… unless we could somehow enlist the help of Santa’s Arch Elf. Wait, wasn’t he in Numb3rs too? With those powers combined, we can bake up an unstoppable structure to win Holiday Gingerbread Showdown.

Zach describes a magic trick, Jared dreams up a cookie building infrastructure, and Adam thinks he looks like the guy from Numb3rs.

Talking Points Include: Countdown to Quichemas, Credit Card Butt, Gingerbread Experience, Questionably Edible, Gremlins’ Day Off, Random Word Christmas, Finding an Assistant, Kid Numb3rs, Baking Oceans 11, Lego Cookies, Theme Lightning Round, Christmas Salad

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December 23, 2019

ProCo Episode 98: Christmas Staycation – Holiday Showdown

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When planning the opposite of a well balanced and truly exciting vacation, it isn’t a bad vacation we want, but rather one that is 100% neutral. And when a lecture on the density of rocks given by Danny DeVito is still too exciting, we’re going to have to think even more bland if we want to earn the most thrilling vacation on Holiday Showdown.

Zach defends the dignity of Indianapolis, Jared reveals his Christmas itinerary, and Adam has a hard time grasping true neutral.

Talking Points Include: We Got Got, Artificial Conflict, Vacationing at Jared’s House, Old Leonard, Our Ideal Vacations, Everything Bagel Opposite, Best Worst Neutral, Idle Gorge, Pioneer Village, World’s Largest Bob Evans, A Thrilling Packing List

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December 16, 2019

Brackets Ep. 28: The Impossible Mom

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With two brand new Bracketologists, we have a sampling of both local and cross country as Melanie McNulty and Kevin Renn jump into the madness. Join the fun as we discuss the dangers of being barefoot in the city, whether or not it’s ok to describe skin as “creamy,” and the bygone era of wondering how we got ourselves into our current situation.

‘Fabulous Dracula’ vs ‘Trader Daddies’

‘Popeyes Chicken Sandwich’ vs ‘Baby Yoda Memes’

‘Wooden Teeth’ vs ‘Nice N’ Creamy’

Featuring: Kevin Renn and Melanie McNulty

Host/Mixer/Editor: Adam Decker

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December 11, 2019

ProCo Episode 97: Burn Notice Live! – 25 Words or Less

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Ok, here’s the deal. You can either see Burn Notice perform on a beach for $50, or in a bar for $10. What? You don’t know Burn Notice? Remember how they were stranded on a desert island for seven years and have now returned to perform their once great television show in a live format? Oh, and they’re really good at 25 Words or Less now too.

Zach thinks he’s seen Johnny English, Jared thinks he knows who Bruce Campbell is, and Adam thinks no one has strong feelings about Meredith Vieira.

Talking Points Include: One Word Intro, Bustin’ on Ben Franklin, True Neutral Meredith, Jeff Dunham’s Unmatched Power, Camp Lost, Island Entertainment, Funny Spies, The Johnny English Secret, Peanut Butter Distraction

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December 9, 2019

ProCo Episode 96: 2 Fast 2 British – Pointless

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Double-decker bus: British. Double-decker bus with a Union Jack on the side: more British. Double-decker bus with a Union Jack on the side that serves you tea: extremely British. Double-decker bus with a Union Jack on the side where the person who serves you tea is dressed as a bear? I mean, if it’s surrounded by this many ultra British things, the Tea Bear must be a British thing too, right?

Zach is Mr. Queen, Jared is Big Ben, and Adam is The Beefeater.

Talking Points Include: Rivalry Trophy Game, Bonus Host, A Jimmy On The Side, Trashing England, Reviewing The Playbook, The Tea Bear, Merlin’s Mustard Hat, Alternate British Personas

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December 3, 2019

Brackets Ep. 27: The Osteen Identity

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We know that baby’s-breath is a flower, there are plenty of other options to explore. For instance, what about literal baby’s breath and its physical capabilities? What if it was just the name of a cocktail? These questions and more are answered as veteran Bracketologist Sam Otter returns to discuss the merit of decorative vases, fighting with a shrunken version of The Rock, and how easy it is (for some people) to confuse mega church pastors.

‘Briefcase Showdown’ vs ‘A Bag O’ Birds’

‘Slack N Cheese’ vs ‘Medieval Grimes’

‘Running Away From Ants’ vs ‘Jock-Tober Fest’

Featuring: Sam Otter

Host/Mixer/Editor: Adam Decker

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November 27, 2019

ProCo Episode 95: The Bygone Art of The Nut Kick – Animal Crack-Ups

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Ladies and Gentlemen, I am pleased to inform you that we have conceptualized the funniest possible video. It involves a limo driving lion and Joe Pesci with a cast on his nuts and I DARE you to find something funnier. Step aside AFV, The Contestants are coming for the funny home video throne with their reimagined take on Animal Crack-Ups.

Zach thinks mild pain is funny, Jared thinks big things are funny, Adam thinks unexpected things are funny.

Talking Points Include: What We’re Thankful For, Villain Themes, Thicke Talk, VR Chilling with The Rock, Cat Vids, A History of Nut Kickers, Whale Humor, Jurassic Park’s Missed Opportunity, Limo Lion, Airplane Chicken

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November 25, 2019

ProCo Episode 94: Big. Strong. Sexy. Beefy. Lunchbox. – Starcade

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It’s Friday night. You’re at the arcade. For some reason, one particular cabinet calls to you. You pop in a couple of quarters and the game begins, but you are unable to play due to how stunned you are by the attractiveness of the game’s protagonist. A VERY sexy lunchbox. You game over, having never moved, and yet you pop in two more quarters just to get another look at, I cannot stress this enough, A VERY SEXY LUNCHBOX. Don’t ask how, but this lunchbox’s power is about to make us champions of Starcade!

Zach invents a paperclip game, Jared invents a lunchbox game, and Adam invents a jack-o’-lantern game.

Talking Points Include: Why We Do Cold Opens, Curl Bits, Petite Pac-Man, Nonexistent Episodes, Mario’s Butt, Cheat Codes, Stalin’s Ghost’s Literature, Michael Jordan’s 58008 Secret, Creating Bad Arcade Games, The Donkey Kong Lineage

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November 18, 2019

ProCo Episode 93: Chief of the Kitchen – MasterChef

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Things we know about MasterChef: Gordon Ramsay is mean, you’ve gotta cook real good, the title of MasterChef doesn’t really hold any clout. Things we know about Halo: Bill Gates created it, there’s a bunch of space tech and aliens, Master Chief sounds kinda like Master Chef. Logically, we’re gonna put those hands together. MasterChef better watch out, cause it’s about to smell what The Chief is cookin’.

Zach knows nothing about Halo, Jared knows nothing about Halo, and Adam knows a little bit about Halo.

Talking Points Include: Grandma’s Exotic Meats, Gordon Shows, RuneScape Capes, Bill’s Bathtub Buddha Time, Master Chef Fraud, Sonic x Frodo, Master Chief’s Eating Habits, Cooking with Space Tech, Pitbull’s Space Party, A Permanent Life as The Chief

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November 11, 2019