ProCo Episode 153: The Miracle of Zacchaeus – The Chair

They can put into a high pressure trivia game. They can get John McEnroe to yell at us. They can even make bags of chips explode in our face. The one thing they cant do is raise dead Jared’s heart rate above 0 bpm. Don’t worry, we’ll bring him back to life once we’re done. The pope owes us one.

Zach will buy a fake hand for the pope, Jared will die and get resurrected, and Adam will shove a coupon into Jared’s mouth.

Talking Points Include: Iditarod Check-In, Fixing Marathons, Bad Chair, Grandpa v Grandpa, Yet Another Weekend at Bernie’s, Hype Jesus, Vatican Coupons

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ProCo Episode 152: National Frasier: Book of Niles – Don’t Forget the Lyrics!

It’s time we all acknowledge the fact that no one likes to watch other people sing karaoke. If we have to do it on national television while trying to remember specific lyrics, it’s pretty much a lose-lose situation for us.  So why don’t we lean into the awful and just do Free Bird ten times? Guitar solo and all. Now NO ONE is gonna have a good time.

Zach wants to complain until he gets money, Jared thinks he can learn ten songs, and Adam conducts BBQ science.

Talking Points Include: King Henry’s Beef Monologues, Dreams Above Your Head, Masked Singer Watch, Jagger Notoriety, Nationalize Frasier, Hey Caroline, Free Bird x10

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ProCo Episode 151: Fire(fighter)Side Chats – America Says

As Americans, we may disagree about who sings the best love songs or what the best thing to see in San Francisco is. But one thing we can all agree on is that firefighters are the absolute coolest. Enjoy what may be the last episode of this podcast, as we consider leaving our current lives behind to pursue our dreams of driving big trucks, sliding down poles, and hanging out with dogs all day.

Zach wants to buy a firetruck, Jared saw some cool firefighters, and Adam defends the fire pole.

Talking Points Include: Friends 2.0 The Ross Cut, Higgins Reviews, The San Francisco Treat, The Firefighter Lifestyle, Pole vs Stairs

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ProCo Episode 150: The Incredible Unbreakable Egg – The Almost Impossible Game Show

There’s only one way that a bodybuilder like The Rock could get so strong. He must be genetically engineering super eggs from his own personal chickens. So if a normal person got their hands on one of these eggs, it would be too strong for them to even crack it. But if one man somehow was able to break that egg? He surely would be crowned the winner of whatever game show he happened to be on!

Zach thinks he knows where The Rock lives, Jared harbors egg secrets, and Adam has a bizarre photo of Zach and Jared.

Talking Points Include: Homemade White Claw, Real Life Iron Man, Learning About Ireland Jared’s First Law of Game Shows, Rent-A-Referee, Mike Wazowski’s Basketball Career, Excalibur Egg, The Gaston Diet, Dirt Gnome

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ProCo Episode 149: War Mater – The Hustler

We’ve never really been huge fans of anime. It’s just so mainstream, you know? Disney and Pixar are always winning best anime film at the Oscars every year and it all feels the same. Some of those classic characters might be worth something though, and cosplaying as everyone’s favorite anime character, Tow Mater, is just what we need to gaslight a group of game show contestants and win a bunch of money.

Zach gets duped by TikTok, Jared wants a very specific birthday gift, and Adam ponders the limits of Cameo.

Talking Points Include: The Charli Drink Fiasco, Anniversary Blend Bean Stink, Jimmy Carter’s Parrot, Who Is Daddy?, Redneck Dracula, Mater Suit Joyride

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ProCo Episode 148: Openings – Anything You Can Do

We’ve been on a bit of a stinker streak with our game show choices lately and you know what, we’re just sick of it. So for the first half of the episode, we’re just gonna try out a bunch of openings, and for the second half we ponder important questions such as, “What might the view be like from the back of The Hollywood Squares?” Riveting stuff.

Zach informs us about a wild new sport, Jared wants to see the butts, and Adam is looking for a Tennessee Williams style reality show. 

Talking Points Include: Jared’s Decaf Adventure, Dunkin Sugar Attack, Football Furniture, Merv Griffin’s Perfect Birthday, Noises Off The Game Show, Best Backstage Drama, Mark’s Secret, A Real Bad Callback

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ProCo Episode 147: Dick’s Last Resort Corporate Retreat – Bobcat’s Big Ass Show

You know this guy Bobcat? He’s a rude and rowdy dude who needs a taste of his own medicine. We know exactly where to source that medicine from. And remember, if you like this episode, just clap and hoot and holler as much as you want. The very accurate applause-o-meter will let us know.

Segment music written and recorded by friend of the show Andrew Stewart – @andrewishuman on Twitter.

Zach despises applause-o-meters, Jared introduces a new format for tiebreakers, and Adam and Jerry Seinfeld are kindred spirits.

Talking Points Include: King George Begins, Animal Planet Black List, A New Better Halftime Show, Insult Comics, Steve Urp-bowl, Stanning Tom Bergeron, Jared’s Haunted House Rules, Give Us a WooHoo, Using Insult Comics to Our Advantage

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ProCo Episode 146: Here Comes The Poorly Crafted Film Parodies – Boom!

The Jaws Effect: an idea that an imposing yet unseen mysterious force is driving much of the plot and actions in a movie. It makes it that much more impactful when that force is finally revealed. Now imagine that force is Kevin James, and the movie is called Here Comes The Boom. Apply to literally any movie plot, and you’ve got yourself a winner.

Zach gets confused by a TikTok trend, Jared makes an attempt at true professionalism, and Adam is convinced that jockeys are prepared to kill their horse.

Talking Points Include: Ben Franklin’s Electric Urine, Kelsey Grammer’s Breakfast Songs, Papa Tom Death Clause, Leutinant Vandersnatch and the Winter Wizard, Werner Hertzog is Coming to Town, A Nasty Horse’s Guide to Murder, Young Joker

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ProCo Episode 145: Jake “The ‘Oops I Ate My Snake Again'” Roberts – Battle Dome

Look, this ain’t that fake pro wrastlin’ BS you see on tv. This is the real deal, where enormous men are paid money to punch you, kick you, and prevent your success. So for assistance, we are turning to the one thing in the building that we feel that we can identify with. No, it’s none of the human beings, but do you see that snake over there?

Zach explains British slang, Jared devises a Federal Wrestling Project, and Adam attempts to flex his limited knowledge of pro wrestling.

Talking Points Include: Sledding Stunts, Boxer Based Public Transportation, Referee Shorts, Wrestling Relief Programs, Dementor’s Kiss, The Rude Dude Bubba King, Crunch of the Night, Under The Dome, Snake Hypnosis

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ProCo Episode 144: Wonka in the House – Monopoly

Lets crunch the numbers. We got Monopoly, a board game that everyone knows but no one really likes. We got a half hour span of tv air time in 1990. Put those hands together and you have a pretty boring game show that we don’t really want to talk about all that much. Result: 20+ minutes of Willy Wonka discussion and some personal takes on capitalism to boot.

Zach discovers a Mouse Trap game show, Jared knows too much about the second Wonka book, and Adam spins up some impromptu board game trivia.

Talking Points Include: Wonka Talk, The Four Deaths of Merv Griffin, Fixing Presidential Pardons, Sexy Theme Song, Webopoly, Flash Videos, Bad Board Game Varieties, That’s Monopoly Baby Bop

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