Slime

ProCo 238: You Can Give a Duck a Drink, But You Can’t Make it Go Home With You – Keep It Spotless

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Please join us in rememberance of this day. For once we have concocted a plan that not only makes sense, but also has a high chance of actually working. All we need is some hydrophobic material and a bunch of Hollywood studio quality squib rigs, Oh, and if the body scanner registers any metal in Jared’s pants, don’t worry about that. He won that medal honestly at the county fair.

Zach creates a new rule of robotics, Jared has a medal for his prize winning hog, and Adam can’t commiserate with Magnum P.I.

Talking Points Include: Grimace Christ Superstar, Magnum P.I. Fancast, High School Swim Class, Drinking at the Hotel Bar, Ocean City USA, High Slime Ratings, Mr. Clean’s False Advertising, Ducks Can’t Get Wet, Robot Camera Crew, Lie To Me Makes a Comeback

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July 31, 2023

ProCo 236: Slime is Cringe Now – Play-Doh Squished

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They just don’t make kids game shows like they used to… but should they? After some market research, our studies show that kids just don’t like slime anymore. However, is this because we just aren’t giving them enough of it? In this paper, The Professional Contestants aim to explore how the type and amount of slime used in childrens’ entertainment programming directly corresponds to how cringe the slime is perceived.

Zach is more imaginative than any child, Jared has a strict criteria for proper slime, and Adam humbles himself before the Las Vegas Aliens.

Talking Points Inlcude: The Big Mysterious Sphere, Humpty’s Prowess, Rocky Uses Protection, The Wisdom of Summers, The Right Amount of Slime, Slime Ratings, Tubby Custard, Eating Play-Doh, The Superior Building Toy, 3D Mouth Printer

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July 10, 2023

ProCo 235: Stanley Tucci: Surviving Italy – BrainSurge

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As sure as the days grow longer and the temperature creeps higher, the Summer of Summers will return to the feed of the Professional Contestants. Once again we find ourselves facing a game show made for childen, that we as grown men are extremely capable of winning. We just need to place our intelect into something that can actually participate in the game. Something like a Boy Bot. A Boisterous Boy Bot. And if he isn’t Bashful then he’ll Bash the competition. We’re sorry.

Zach openly dislikes Ryan Seacrest, Jared dreams up a wonderful Itallian story on the spot, and Adam purports to be a maze expert.

Talking Points Include: The Summer of Summers, Summer Vibes, Perpetual Consenters, Which Candy Land Character Are You, A Low Slime Rating, Muddy Pokemon Maze, Wheel of Fortune Current Events, Buongiorni the Fruit Vendor, A Non-Bashful Boisterous Boy Bot

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July 3, 2023