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ProCo Episode 123: Practically Batman – The Misery Index

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When dealing with a group of impractical grown men who refer to themselves as jokers, the logical strategy is to be extremely practical bat men. The problem is none of us are actually that similar to Batman. But if we pool our characteristics! Together we can combine to maybe kinda almost be close to a single Batman. We’ll make Alf our butler too. I mean, we’re pretty close, right?

Zach defends Jackass, Jared wants pranks to be abolished, and Adam tries to update the Ten Commandments.

Talking Points Include: Fun for the Whole Family, Characters Welcome, Unavoidable Jokers, Alf the Butler, Preventing Mild Inconveniences, The Ten Egg Commandments, Prank Consent

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August 10, 2020

ProCo Episode 122: Peter Rabbit’s Carrot Slide – Floor Is Lava

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“We aren’t, as human beings, very good at acting in our best interest.” – Malcolm Gladwell, discussing his friendship with Bigfoot. Look, are you still expecting the title to make sense? This episode is good, trust me.

Zach misses an article, Jared thinks about Bigfoot, and Adam finds a new name for the podcast.

Talking Points Include: Moved a House, Scary Campers, Celebrity Bigfoot, Peter Rabbit’s Carrot Slide, Betrayed by Malcolm, Bigfoot vs. Vader

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August 3, 2020

ProCo Episode 121: Everything’s Coming Up Goofy – Wild & Crazy Kids

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Pro basketball is going to be pretty different this year, and we don’t think anyone is gonna like it. Sure, the season is starting up again, but wouldn’t it be so much more fun if all the NBA players just had a field day? Some friendly competition in events other than basketball is just what we all need! Also, just please don’t ask about Goofy. He is supposed to stay in the basement.

Zach wants to make his own Miami Vice, Jared insists that churros are the answer, and Adam is uncomfortable with Goofy’s drug habits.

Talking Points Include: NBA Bubble, Field Day, No Coaches Allowed, New Miami Vice, Trojan Horse Validity, Solo Spin the Bottle, Juni the Lover

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July 27, 2020

ProCo Episode 120: The PostYouTube Era – You’re On!

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For years kids have been told not to talk to strangers, but we now live in the PostYouTube Era. Kids are bolder than ever and we’d appreciate it if they would just leave us alone. So kids, PLEASE don’t talk to us adults. We don’t want to be a part of your schemes. Well, except for Jim Carrey of course. That dude is down for anything.

Zach relies on children for YouTube tutorials, Jared argues that attractive people can get others to do pretty much anything, and Adam is down to get slimed.

Talking Points Include: E-mail Déjà Vu, World McDonald’s, YouTube Children, Inconveniencing Strangers, Hiring a Temp, Finding a Yes Man, Terrifying Kid Interactions

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July 20, 2020

ProCo Episode 119: Gildar Has A Secret – Splatalot!

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Welcome to the newly sovereign nation of Splatalot! You can only be here for one of two reasons. Either you are a child here to challenge our king, or you are trying to get us to return this land to the Canadian government. Either way, this is Gildar. He is going to fight you.

Zach believes he has found the perfect game show, Jared is keen on inciting a revolution, and Adam searches for a b-list celebrity to be his dad.

Talking Points Include: A Failed Intro, Swedish Chef’s Children, No Prizes for Kids, Defender Relationships, Succeeding From Canada, GilDaddy, Xiaolin Showdown, Proving We’re Cool, Getting Famous Parents

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July 13, 2020

ProCo Episode 118: Chop Mommy for the Dark Side – Jedi Temple Challenge

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Greetings, young Padawan! Three rules, the Jedi have. DON’T hit Mom with your laser sword. DON’T fall to the Dark Side. DON’T hit Dad with your laser sword.*

*It’s okay to hit Dad with your laser sword.

Zach defends the Phantom Menace, Jared defends smoking, and Adam is unsure on whom to chop.

Talking Points Include: Everybody Gets a Star War, Return of The Summer of Summers, Kids’ Prizes, Becoming Cool Evil Ambassadors, Dark Side Make Over, Jedi Signing Day, Smoking is Cool

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July 6, 2020

ProCo Episode 117: Enjoy The World Tonight – Don’t

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Too many of today’s celebrities think they are hot stuff and can just create a game show. On top of that, some of them think they are real funny and make jokes about the contestants on their game show. Luckily, the world’s three foremost experts on game shows are here to knock those celebs down a peg. Catch us and our big stoic rock on Thursday nights on ABC getting hurt and bawling for minutes at a time. That’ll teach Ryan Reynolds a lesson in trying to be funny.

Zach plans to yell obscenities at Deadpool, Jared insists that spicy food is torture, and Adam has a lot of favorite rocks.

Talking Points Include: Expanding Our Market, Enjoy The World Tonight, The Great Spicy Torture Debate, Celebrity Summer Camp, Our Favorite Rocks, The Working Class, Replacing Mount Rushmore, Eliminating The Fun, Lots of Crying

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June 29, 2020

ProCo Episode 116: Flowers for Agamemnon – The Exit List

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Gods. Kings. A labyrinth. A Minotaur. Lots of cheese. Bank loans. Teddy Ruxpin. A mouse named Algernon? Ok, we definitely lost the plot somewhere in there, but just focus on this. With these highly trained sniffers, we can certainly navigate a maze if there’s a big stash of cheese at the end. Now if we can just make that cheese as valuable as gold we’ll be filthy rich!

Zach flexes his knowledge about mazes in pop culture, Jared tests his memory on Greek mythology, and Adam doesn’t know how banks work.

Talking Points Include: Underwear Etiquette, Scrooge’s Nighttime Visitors, Dolly-Lama-Wood, Adding a Minotaur, Mazes v Labyrinths, Mythic Allegories, Cheese Money, The Liquid Gold Standard, The Trojan Dairy War, Jarry Ruxpin

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June 22, 2020

ProCo Episode 115: Anderson’s Special Double Agents – The Mole

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Our covers have been blown wide open. We’re caught behind enemy lines. It turns out that we were all hired by the same employer and set up for failure. So… there is only one logical thing left for us to do. We’re going to steal Anderson Cooper’s identity and vote him off of his own game show as revenge for giving us expired Chili’s gift cards.

Zach doesn’t want to be a mole at all, Jared wants to be a mole for Anderson, and Adam wants to be a literal mole.

Talking Points Include: Snoopy Theme Park, Wild Challenges, Actual Mole Man, Fun Meters to Full, Befriending Anderson, Becoming Anderson, Betraying Anderson, A Triple Mole Situation

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June 15, 2020

ProCo Episode 114: Stephbox 360 – Holey Moley II: The Sequel

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Before you even start with us, we know! Okay? We are fully aware we were duped and Holey Moley’s second season really isn’t any different than the first. And YES, we know that our original plan wasn’t that great either. So like… maybe this time we just talk about Magic Tree House and a Google Drive based NBA the whole time? Yeah? Sounds good.

Zach is thinking about ChalkZone, Jared reveals his fan fiction, and Adam is prepared to bow to our new animated overlord.

Talking Points Include: Ghoul Watch, Rewriting Children’s Books, A New and Improved Steph, Competitive Animated NBA, Fundraising Video Game, We Get Out-Wilded, Hungry Ron

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June 8, 2020