proco

ProCo Episode 155: King Kong Needs Work – Shipping Wars

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You may think it’s weird. King Kong is having career trouble. Didn’t he just have a movie come out? Well, that was mostly shot in 2019, and the job market for Big Monkey has been tough in Hollywood. So if you hear of any open gigs give him a call, would ya? On a different note: do you know anyone who can lift a 35,000 lb statue? We gotta move a big Bean out of the city and get it to Houston by Tuesday.

Zach wants to control the rivers, Jared has absolutely been to a Bob’s Big Boy, and Adam wants to trim the fat.

Talking Points: DIY Cameo Hollywood Squares,  Shitty Ice Road Truckers, You Can’t Have a Big Boy Without the Big Boy, Southbound and South, Up the Bean, Kaiju vs, Caillou, Yukon Cornelius Fan Fiction

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April 12, 2021

ProCo Episode 154: The Abba Genie of Cameo – How Much Is Enough?

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Cameo has been around for a while now, but we’re pretty sure no one knows how it actually works. Like if we play our cards right, we should be able to get a celebrity to unknowingly say something that legally signs their net worth over to us. And if we can remake Psych with us as the main characters in the process, well hey, that’s a win-win.

Zach searches Cameo for the best deals, Jared still has extortion on the brain, and Adam retells his secondhand account of a game show disaster.

Talking Points Include: Polaroid Paparazzi, Sleepy Hands on a Hardbody, Bring Back This Show, Fernando Dance, Blowing Chunks on Wheel of Fortune, Too Much Cookies All in My Tummy, Stew Hefner

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April 5, 2021

ProCo Episode 153: The Miracle of Zacchaeus – The Chair

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They can put into a high pressure trivia game. They can get John McEnroe to yell at us. They can even make bags of chips explode in our face. The one thing they cant do is raise dead Jared’s heart rate above 0 bpm. Don’t worry, we’ll bring him back to life once we’re done. The pope owes us one.

Zach will buy a fake hand for the pope, Jared will die and get resurrected, and Adam will shove a coupon into Jared’s mouth.

Talking Points Include: Iditarod Check-In, Fixing Marathons, Bad Chair, Grandpa v Grandpa, Yet Another Weekend at Bernie’s, Hype Jesus, Vatican Coupons

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March 29, 2021

ProCo Episode 152: National Frasier: Book of Niles – Don’t Forget the Lyrics!

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It’s time we all acknowledge the fact that no one likes to watch other people sing karaoke. If we have to do it on national television while trying to remember specific lyrics, it’s pretty much a lose-lose situation for us.  So why don’t we lean into the awful and just do Free Bird ten times? Guitar solo and all. Now NO ONE is gonna have a good time.

Zach wants to complain until he gets money, Jared thinks he can learn ten songs, and Adam conducts BBQ science.

Talking Points Include: King Henry’s Beef Monologues, Dreams Above Your Head, Masked Singer Watch, Jagger Notoriety, Nationalize Frasier, Hey Caroline, Free Bird x10

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March 22, 2021

ProCo Episode 151: Fire(fighter)Side Chats – America Says

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As Americans, we may disagree about who sings the best love songs or what the best thing to see in San Francisco is. But one thing we can all agree on is that firefighters are the absolute coolest. Enjoy what may be the last episode of this podcast, as we consider leaving our current lives behind to pursue our dreams of driving big trucks, sliding down poles, and hanging out with dogs all day.

Zach wants to buy a firetruck, Jared saw some cool firefighters, and Adam defends the fire pole.

Talking Points Include: Friends 2.0 The Ross Cut, Higgins Reviews, The San Francisco Treat, The Firefighter Lifestyle, Pole vs Stairs

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March 15, 2021

ProCo Episode 150: The Incredible Unbreakable Egg – The Almost Impossible Game Show

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There’s only one way that a bodybuilder like The Rock could get so strong. He must be genetically engineering super eggs from his own personal chickens. So if a normal person got their hands on one of these eggs, it would be too strong for them to even crack it. But if one man somehow was able to break that egg? He surely would be crowned the winner of whatever game show he happened to be on!

Zach thinks he knows where The Rock lives, Jared harbors egg secrets, and Adam has a bizarre photo of Zach and Jared.

Talking Points Include: Homemade White Claw, Real Life Iron Man, Learning About Ireland Jared’s First Law of Game Shows, Rent-A-Referee, Mike Wazowski’s Basketball Career, Excalibur Egg, The Gaston Diet, Dirt Gnome

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March 8, 2021

ProCo Episode 149: War Mater – The Hustler

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We’ve never really been huge fans of anime. It’s just so mainstream, you know? Disney and Pixar are always winning best anime film at the Oscars every year and it all feels the same. Some of those classic characters might be worth something though, and cosplaying as everyone’s favorite anime character, Tow Mater, is just what we need to gaslight a group of game show contestants and win a bunch of money.

Zach gets duped by TikTok, Jared wants a very specific birthday gift, and Adam ponders the limits of Cameo.

Talking Points Include: The Charli Drink Fiasco, Anniversary Blend Bean Stink, Jimmy Carter’s Parrot, Who Is Daddy?, Redneck Dracula, Mater Suit Joyride

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March 1, 2021

ProCo Episode 148: Openings – Anything You Can Do

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We’ve been on a bit of a stinker streak with our game show choices lately and you know what, we’re just sick of it. So for the first half of the episode, we’re just gonna try out a bunch of openings, and for the second half we ponder important questions such as, “What might the view be like from the back of The Hollywood Squares?” Riveting stuff.

Zach informs us about a wild new sport, Jared wants to see the butts, and Adam is looking for a Tennessee Williams style reality show. 

Talking Points Include: Jared’s Decaf Adventure, Dunkin Sugar Attack, Football Furniture, Merv Griffin’s Perfect Birthday, Noises Off The Game Show, Best Backstage Drama, Mark’s Secret, A Real Bad Callback

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February 22, 2021

ProCo Episode 147: Dick’s Last Resort Corporate Retreat – Bobcat’s Big Ass Show

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You know this guy Bobcat? He’s a rude and rowdy dude who needs a taste of his own medicine. We know exactly where to source that medicine from. And remember, if you like this episode, just clap and hoot and holler as much as you want. The very accurate applause-o-meter will let us know.

Segment music written and recorded by friend of the show Andrew Stewart – @andrewishuman on Twitter.

Zach despises applause-o-meters, Jared introduces a new format for tiebreakers, and Adam and Jerry Seinfeld are kindred spirits.

Talking Points Include: King George Begins, Animal Planet Black List, A New Better Halftime Show, Insult Comics, Steve Urp-bowl, Stanning Tom Bergeron, Jared’s Haunted House Rules, Give Us a WooHoo, Using Insult Comics to Our Advantage

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February 15, 2021

ProCo Episode 146: Here Comes The Poorly Crafted Film Parodies – Boom!

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The Jaws Effect: an idea that an imposing yet unseen mysterious force is driving much of the plot and actions in a movie. It makes it that much more impactful when that force is finally revealed. Now imagine that force is Kevin James, and the movie is called Here Comes The Boom. Apply to literally any movie plot, and you’ve got yourself a winner.

Zach gets confused by a TikTok trend, Jared makes an attempt at true professionalism, and Adam is convinced that jockeys are prepared to kill their horse.

Talking Points Include: Ben Franklin’s Electric Urine, Kelsey Grammer’s Breakfast Songs, Papa Tom Death Clause, Leutinant Vandersnatch and the Winter Wizard, Werner Hertzog is Coming to Town, A Nasty Horse’s Guide to Murder, Young Joker

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February 8, 2021