game

ProCo Episode 184: The Civil War Slap Voucher – Pawnography

Apple Spotify Rss

We generally try to be pretty decent humans when carrying out our various plans. But honestly, someone can be convinced that the FBI is searching for a real life genie, they’re gonna get scammed eventually, so we might as well be the ones doing the scamming.

Zach is well versed in the Pawn Stars Universe, Jared is a Chumlee expert, and Adam dusts off his guitar.

Talking Points Include: Mail Time, Prepping for 200, The Pawn Star Universe, Half-Way Animorphs, Take Terry Bradshaw’s House, A Historical Slap Deal, The Saxophone Scam, Darwin Loves Aladdin

0 Comments
January 3, 2022

ProCo Episode 183: Area 51 Is Open – Top Elf

Apple Spotify Rss

In this episode we discover the true meaning of Christmas. We here at Professional Contestants believe that everyone should be included in the holiday festivities, so we are doing something special this season. Area 51 is open, its a lucky time of year, and these aliens are about to learn about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Zach thinks Marvin the Martian is in Area 51, Jared thinks Hot Scrooge is in Area 51, and Adam thinks eight additional Shrek sequels are in Area 51.

Talking Points Include: Jared’s CO2 Detector, The Volunteer Dads Brigade, Santa’s Transatlantic Accent, A Luckier Time of Year, Evangelizing Aliens, Knuckles’ Eggs, Air Force Base Shenanigans, Talk Elf

0 Comments
December 20, 2021

ProCo Episode 182: Donald Duck Hates Mercutio – Blown Away: Christmas

Apple Spotify Rss

For this episode, in the name of the holidays, we soldier on and talk in depth about the art of competitive glassblowing being unnecessarily converted into a Christmas special. But we also talk about what we really love, and that is debating which Disney character best represents famous hot headed Capulet – Tybalt.

Zach wonders the origin of the glassblowing furnace, Jared wants us to be mature about the glassblowing furnace, and Adam cannot be mature about the glassblowing furnace.

Talking Points Include: Christmas Stank, The Angelic Sonic, Pushing the Limits of Disney Bounding, Glassblowing Accessibility, Picnic Hookah, Staring Into the Glory Hole, Saving Baby Tiny Tim, Scrooge’s Big Beautiful Secret

0 Comments
December 13, 2021

ProCo Episode 181: Only Santas in the Building – Santas in the Barn

Apple Spotify Rss

Happy Holidays! It’s that time of year, and we GOT THE SPIRIT. THE HOLDIAY SPIRIT. We’re drinking nothing but eggnog, eating nothing but cookies, and talking about nothing but Bernard the Elf and the Three Wise Men. Oh, Santa? We got Santas. That‘s right: plural.

Zach is jolly, Jared is crafty, and Adam is kid approved.

Talking Points Include: Christmas Costumes, Only Santas in the Building, The Sanatacratic Oath, Tommy the Elf Has His Own Take on Things, ProCo is Mad at a Firefighter, The Spirit of Santa Can be in Anyone, Good Grinch Energy, Krampus Doesn’t Do Drugs

0 Comments
December 6, 2021

ProCo Episode 180: Toby Keith’s I Love This Dave & Buster’s – The Singing Bee

Apple Spotify Rss

It’s been established that we here at ProCo love Reba more than the average person. That is unless the average person is someone who watches CMT game shows hosted by Barbra Jean. They REALLY love Reba. So while they’re all distracted by a Reba reunion, we’re sneaking onto and winning The Singing Bee.

Zach writes the next hit country song, Jared brags about his juicy turkey, and Adam becomes the little boy from Reba.

Talking Points Include: The Three Kings Real Epiphany, The Army’s Turkey Rules, Folk Hero Boy Bands, Jason Spader: The House Swinger, Wayne Brady’s Public Audition, Karaoke Etiquette, Ford and Coors, I Love This Cud

0 Comments
November 29, 2021

ProCo Episode 179: Egg à la Mode – Baker’s Dozen

Apple Spotify Rss

We spent so much time asking ourselves what WOULD qualify as dessert, we forgot to ask ourselves what CANNOT qualify as dessert. As it turns out, the answer is simple. It’s egg. Dessert can’t have an egg on it. So ready the egg cannon, we have some desserts to ruin.

Zach isn’t good at Halo, Jared imagines a tomato bisque cake, and Adam insists he is proficient at snatching eggs.

Talking Points Include: #1 Gamer Chat, Toad’s Sex Education, Twatches, Eight Immediate Losers, What Is Dessert, When Is Dessert, Egg Cannon

0 Comments
November 22, 2021

ProCo Episode 178: Gas, Grass, or Ham – Would I Lie to You

Apple Spotify Rss

We go to school. We work hard to get a good paying job. We save up our money with the hope of one day never having to work again. And the one thing we all are striving for in life? The thing that will let us know we’ve made it? Traveling the world and eating good food. Preferably ham. Preferably on someone else’s dime.

Zach thinks he is in the top 50% of personable humans, Jared’s day rate is a BLT, and Adam has a fine dining experience.

Talking Points Include: Michelin Star Dining, Sucking Meat From a Shell, Travel the World and Eat Good Food, Lions By Omission, Schrodinger’s Penn Jillette, Smoked Meats?, The Shirley Temple of Ham Juice, Hameater Gin

0 Comments
November 15, 2021

ProCo Episode 177: Plumbing Pro Bono – Divided

Apple Spotify Rss

Plumb an orphan’s toilet, they are fixed for a day. Teach an orphan to plumb, they can fix their own toilet and perhaps become plumbers one day. And we are REALLY gonna need to double down on that second option because even with our game show winnings, we can’t keep up with all the charitable plumbing work we are doing.

Zach rehauls the British alphabet, Jared recounts his split or steal vs robots experience, and Adam is put off by the ruthless British game show attitude.

Talking Points Include: Adam’s Dental Adventure, Bone Polishers, Battle For The B, Haych, British Brutality, The Plumber Show, Big Orphan Poops

0 Comments
November 10, 2021

ProCo Episode 176: The Great Butterscotch War – Small Fortune

Apple Spotify Rss

When trying to convince a judge that your tiny world has a history dating back thousands of years, you need to make sure you have the evidence. You know, tiny dino fossils, tiny Jesus, and of course the horrors of The Great Butterscotch War fought against the ants. That way you can ensure you are paid repercussions for having your civilization used as a prop on a game show.

Zach got lost in Michaels, Jared really loves diorama, and Adam ponders the best Backstreet Boys song.

Talking Points Include: Our Real Pro Wrestling Experience, See No Bird Box, Zach and the DailyMail Snapchat, Old Jeprapady, The Bass-Street Boys, Our Batman Crossover, Ethics of The Borrowers, Tiny World Religion

0 Comments
November 3, 2021

ProCo Episode 175: Beauty and The Jigsaw – Saw IV

Apple Spotify Rss

We know what you’re thinking. Why would we continue this tradition if we hate the Saw movies so much? Honestly, we’re not sure. Even OUR commitment to bits isn’t THAT strong. But as the movies get more convoluted, our plans reach both extremes. Meaning? We are either going to time travel, or do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

Zach’s tummy hurts, Jared makes a legally binding Saw Pact, and Adam stumbles over a long winded movie synopsis.

Talking Points Include: Snake Day, Saw Books, Production Background, The Gilmore Guy, Saw at Home, Baby’s First Trap, Don’t Burst Through Doors, Jigsaw’s Gag Reflex, A Very Good Production Calendar, All His Traps Are Ass

0 Comments
October 25, 2021