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ProCo 194: The Joker Named Fran – Extreme Dodgeball

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You may love it. You may hate it. Either way, we can all agree that dodgeball played an important roll in creating some formative memories from our younger years. But how much should change when it becomes a pro sport? Is it worthy of being a sport, or is it just a gym class time killer? Should Fran Drescher be the next Joker? These questions and more are not answered, but hotly debated in this episode!

Zach doesn’t want very many dodgeballs, Jared wants so many dodgeballs, and Adam gets actaully exasperated.

Talking Points Include: Daylight Savings Scam, Hellbruary, Dream Coaching, Ancient Dodgeball, Home Brew Dodgeball Rules, The Danville Community Middle School Dodgeball Tournament, How Many Balls is Too Many, Every Joker Ever

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March 14, 2022

ProCo 193: The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion – Oblivious

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If you have listened to any number of ProCo episodes, you know that we occisionally encounter a game show that is so unfortunate, we opt to destroy it over winning in a “traditional” method. And yes, sometimes that means becoming a dictator, traveling back in time, and stopping the creation of hidden camera tv shows. We may have to fight Mussolini, but thats a risk we’re willing to take.

Zach further solidifies his wild brand of humor, Jared details his plan for world peace, and Adam gets drawn by Flubber.

Talking Points Include: Broken Pants, Yet Another Archimedes Bit, Bad Hidden Camera, Haunted House Rules in March, What is a Game, Understudy Snap, A Truman Show-Esque Scenario, Dictator Time Travel, Mr. Ed on the Titanic

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March 7, 2022

ProCo 192: Bean at the Bean – 20Q

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Plenty has been written on the morality of robotics and artificial intelligence. But so few of us actually have to face those dilemmas head on. As the world’s leading game show professionals, this is our cross to bear. Do we allow GSN to continue using Mr. Q for their own gain, or do we free him even though he might be a total asshole? Decisions decisions…

Zach realizes that eBay is still weird, Jared wants to free Mr. Q, and Adam buys a enormous robot to keep in his kitchen.

Talking Points Include: The Royal Theater, Prepping for 200, A Toy NOT A Game, Robot Jokes, The Wizard’s Butt, Return to Oz Politics, Isaac Asimov: Wifi Repairman, Mr. Bean’s Chicago Boycott

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February 28, 2022

ProCo 191: Lite-Brite Saved My Marriage – Blockbusters

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Once more for the people in the back. TRIVIA GAME SHOWS ARE BORING. They are fun to play, not fun to watch. And they CERTAINLY don’t provide much to talk about. So for this one, you’re gonna hear a lot about Batman, a lot about IMAX, and a lot about the adult toy Lite-Brites. 

Zach thinks all of France is Normandy, Jared imparts his curling knowledge, and Adam has a lot of opinions about IMAX.

Talking Points Include: Riddle Time, Batman’s Invasion of Privacy, John Henry Allegory, Worst IMAX Movies, Lance Bass in Dunkirk, Monk vs Real Life, Lite-Brite Technology, Don’t Fill Up On Books

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February 21, 2022

ProCo 190: Your Disappointed Dad, Stan Lee – Who Wants to Be a Superhero

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Learning opportunities are everywhere in this world, we just have to open to them when they present themselves. For example, we didn’t think we’d learn anything from this mid 2000’s game show. On the contrary, we now know that according to Stan Lee, superheroes aren’t allowed to make money and must remain celibate. The more you know.

Zach connects everything back to Magnum, P.I., Jared longs for delis and bocce, and Adam things he’s found the best game show ever.

Talking Points Include: Old New York Men, Mascot Matchups, Halftime Show Expectations, Superhero Roll Call, Rotiart’s Betrayal, Testing True Character, Batman’s Payroll, Becoming TRUE Heroes

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February 14, 2022

ProCo Episode 189: Strong Boys, Open to Bribes – Tug of Words

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Did you all know that Tug of War used to be an Olympic sport? All those strong competitors looked super cool tuggin’ on a big rope. So we are all gonna get real beefy just like those guys so we can look cool and tug a rope too. Yes, we are aware this isn’t an actual tug of war game show – we’ll make it work.

Zach blames his bad jokes on a sound board, Jared is watermelons all the way down, and Adam does big ski jumps.

Talking Points Include: What Are The Quad Cities, Our Olympic Chances, Our New Sound Board, A Perfect Competition, Turn Based Tug of War, The New Middle Class, So You Think You Can Beat Me, Cabana Comeback

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February 7, 2022

ProCo Episode 188: Dr. Socrates’ Sick Ride – Concentration

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Memory: A fragile thing. Take that memory for a sail on the lake. A piece of it breaks, so you replace it with a new one. You sail your memory again, and you break it again. This keeps happening, you keep replacing your memory with new parts until you realize… this metaphor makes no sense, and the Contestants don’t know the first thing about philosophy. 

Zach invents a new radio, Jared wants to do a scare, and Adam proposes a philosophical question. 

Talking Points Include: Goro the Hotelier, An Implied Santa Invitation, Anyone Can Be Lightyear, My Notes Say Boring, Reba’s Puzzles, Watson’s Recipes, If I Was Cam Janson, Dr. Socrates’ Sick ‘Sploon

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January 31, 2022

ProCo Episode 187: Peace, Land, and Cheddar Bay – Takeshi’s Castle

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The Professional Contestants are headed to Japan to hang out and pal around with 142 of our newest best friends! We’re gonna do obstacle courses! We’re gonna eat biscuits! And if any war hungry Counts or Generals even THINK about forcing us to fight on their behalf, we’re gonna incite a revolution!

Zach has definitely not been to Boston, Jared reminices about playground energy, and Adam attempts to understand medieval war strategy.

Talking Points Include: A Harry Potter Adajacent Update, The Dichotomy of Party Magicians, Bad Army Recruitment Tactics, Obstacle Courses of War, The Strong Man Maze, Game Show Cultures, A Peoples’ Uprising, The Cheese New Deal

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January 24, 2022

ProCo Episode 186: The Ghost of Napoleon’s Olympic Revenge – Knights and Warriors

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Many people believe that the time we are born affects the kind of people we become. In this case, we’ve got to do battle with eight beefy warriors who are all riled up and evil just because they were born on a “dark day.” Looks like we have two options: change their birthdays, or tickle them until they stop.

Zach worries about when he can eat cake, Jared tries to punch up the Olympics, and Adam would rather be tackled than take a standardized test.

Talking Points Include: Fantasy Narrators, Mail Time, Pro Wrestling Vibes, Speared by Regis, Historical Heels, Rules and Discipline Daddy, The OK Go Challenge, A Big Annie Finale

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January 17, 2022

ProCo Episode 185: The Island of Misfit Boys – Keys to the VIP

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Not only do we need to teach a lesson to some misguided men, but we also just straight up dislike this gameshow’s skeevy energy. Luckily, we can both avoid talking about this show AND enlist some help in teaching a lesson by turning to one of our favorite topics. That’s right, the Oompa Loompas are coming to show these pickup artists the error of their ways.

Zach has a new puppy, Jared is wearing his Loompa costume to the club, and Adam misremembers 90’s cereal slogans.

Talking Points Include: The New Face of Our Podcast, Hottest Cereal Mascots, Pickup Artists, The Legion of Douche, Hunting the Wooly Mammoth, Fruit Based Nicknames, Oompa Loompas in the Club, The Island of Misfit Boys

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January 10, 2022