ProCo Episode 46: Get Money Quickly or Subsequently Die – Ice Road Truckers

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So lets be honest, do any of us really know whats going on up in Alaska or Canada’s Northwest Territories? To us, it sounds like the perfect place to launch a career as Ice Pirates. The Contestants are courageously becoming seasonal route truck drivers with the goal of gaining eternal infamy and cementing their legacy in the dangerous world of Ice Road Truckers.

Zach’s going to be in a hot air balloon, Jared’s going to be in a submarine, Adam’s going to be in a truck.

Talking Points Include: Finally Funny, The Newly Appointed Comedy Boy, Heavy Loads, Return of the Buck Truck, Hot Air in a Blizzard, Medium Sized Submarine, Load Pirates, Poo Dollar

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December 17, 2018

ProCo Episode 45: The Rightful Master Earls of Baking – The Great American Baking Show

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The Right Honorable Earls Professional Contestants are now present, and they’re about to bake you some Chocolate Pizza that will blow your mind! The Contestants are about to jump into a British baking show with an American title with the goal of becoming American citizens with British titles. Step aside you Brits! We’re taking back The Great American Baking Show!

Zach develops a foolproof baking catch-all, Jared drops some hot salad tips, and Adam really tries to push Electric Sleighs.

Talking Points Include: Sleigh Talk, Master Bakers, John Paul Bones Jones Bon Jovi, Sloppy Jolene, British Royal Titles, Chocolate Pizza, Citizen Fieri, Hollywood’s Halls of Hot Dogs

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December 10, 2018

ProCo Episode 44: New Stud – Baggage

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I know no way of judging the future but by the past… and in our case the past consists of disclosing your darkest personality flaws for national television and the Springer audience. The Contestants are here re-haul Earth’s global governing system so that it takes on the format of Jerry’s ‘sexy secret revealing’ game show, Baggage.

Zach needs sandwich breaks, Jared wants to class up the place, and Adam cannot resist Hulk Hogan’s sexual energy.

Talking Points Include: Energy Masked Suitcase, Dr. Pepper Basement, Ghost Sex, Stone Em’, Adult Film Awards, The Greatest American Hero, Child Napoleon, Sexy United Nations, France’s Terrible Oranges, Supreme Court Springer

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December 3, 2018

ProCo Episode 43: E(at)Sports – Hurl!

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Desperate times call for desperate measures, and in a world where a man’s word is more important than almost anything else, sacrifices must be made to preserve what little canon has already been established in 43 short episodes. This week, The Contestants find no other option than to stare down the barrel of Franks n’ Beans and Creamed Corn in order to stomach the nauseating game show, Hurl!

Zach is dependent on arugula, Jared takes one for the team when forced to confront his established super power, and Adam puts a friend of the show on blast in order to form a plan.

Talking Points Include: A Sad Story, Sudden Barf, Diarrhea Strats, Ripley’s Choice, World’s Best Job, Professional Eaters’ League, Eat Magic, Intestinal Support Dog, No More Showers, The Bear Affair

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November 27, 2018

ProCo Episode 42: Pat Sajak’s Nasty Week – Wheel of Fortune

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The puzzle board has started making lewd references and Pat Sajak directed a knowing wink at the camera. This can only mean one thing… Nasty Week has begun! But is this good news for The Contestants? Listen to find out as previously undiscovered areas are revealed in Wheel of Fortune!

Zach would like to buy an owl, Jared can’t remember the name Vanna, and Adam knows a real life Wheel of Fortune contestant.

Talking Points Include: Buying an Owl, Sajak No Swiping, Banana White, Game Show Host Wage Gap, Contract Law, Designated Spinners, Framing a Murder, Penis Town USA, Ouija Wheel, Merv Griffin’s Ghost

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November 19, 2018

ProCo Episode 41: What Isn’t in the Box? – Who Wants to be Governor of California: The Debating Game

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What’s in the box? It can be anything you want. It is simultaneously everything, and yet nothing. And if you vote for The Contestants in the California gubernatorial recall election that we all know is coming, you may just find out what’s inside… that is as soon as we make off with the winnings from Who Wants to be Governor of California: The Debating Game.

Zach pictures a cardboard box, Jared pictures an ornate box, and Adam pictures a shipping box.

Talking Points Include: County Executive Beetle, California’s Wild 2003 Gubernatorial Recall Election, Tax Deductible Lap Dances, Accidental Governors, Finding A Schtick, Mayor Eastwood, The Dank Meme Party, Box Jealousy, Box Brad Pitt, Being in the Box, Coming Out of the Box

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November 12, 2018

ProCo Episode 40: Weekend at Walberg’s – The Moment of Truth

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Lets start this just by saying that we’re sorry. Not only has this episode come to you a day late, but The Contestants are stepping up to, without a doubt, the worst game show they’ve confronted to date. They are going to have to have some calm nerves, a lot of turkey, and inspiration from a classic film in order to make it through The Moment of Truth.

Zach creates the very serious word “smig”, Jared is not Dracula, and Adam is concerned about being considered slippery.

Talking Points Include: Ghost Intimacy, Mail Song Competition, Actual Ass, Maury Game Show, Government Intervention, Cheating a Polygraph, Slippy Bois, Employing Dracula, Turkey Coma, Library Ventriloquism

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November 6, 2018

ProCo Episode 39: Little Orphan Jigsaw – Saw

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Happy Snake Day! As we reach the end of the Snake With Big Teeth season, there is only one horror game (show) that is insane enough to be worthy of sending off our favorite holiday. The Contestants are looking to inspire a change of heart in the trap man himself as we take on the 2004 cult classic, Saw.

Zach is dedicated to cleaning the bathroom, Jared does a great impression of waking up in a dirty bathroom, and Adam insists that The Winter Warlock is pertinent to the current situation.

Talking Points Include: Snake Day Celebrations, Dirty Dirty Bathrooms, Insomnia Bin Laden, Return of Three Sweet Boys, Huffy Trikes, Laser Tooth, Winter Warlock Arthritis, One Star Airbnb, The Suit of Armor, Escape Room Bonding, Free Form Bit Time

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October 29, 2018

ProCo Episode 38: Flip This Haunted House – Secrets of the Cryptkeeper’s Haunted House

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They say that the enemy of our enemy is our friend. But what if the enemy of our enemy is also our enemy? And what if those two enemies are The Cryptkeeper and a bunch of 90’s kids? The Contestants are dealing with some tough decisions as they try to make heads or tails of the confusing Saturday morning game show, Secrets of the Cryptkeeper’s Haunted House.

Zach Just wants to have fun, Jared struggles to keep Elroy in the box, and Adam is convinced The Cryptkeeper is a Sith Lord.

Talking Points Include: Snake Day Costumes, 1990’s CGI, Eggle, The Cryptkeeper’s Relationship Status, And Old School Classic Best Buy Sith Lord Situation, Egg Delivery, Universal Studios Stand Your Ground Laws, Elroy, Bad Secrets, Extreme Makeover: Haunted House Edition

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October 22, 2018

ProCo Episode 37: Sauce Boss feat. Ludacris – Fear Factor

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Sauce: The Universal Tool. Listen as The Contestants employ the use of sauce by any definition to pull a Parent Trap and ultimately emerge victorious on the anxiety ridden gross out game show Fear Factor.

Zach blacks out and rants about G. Gordon Liddy, Jared reveals his early game show experience, and Adam makes some extreme sweet and sour claims.

Talking Points Include: Thriller Tech, The Candy Man, Kid Rodney, The G. Gordon Liddy Saga, Sweet and Sour Allegations, Naked Hot Wings, Sauce Sabotage, Catfishing Luda

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October 15, 2018