ProCo Episode 56: My Second Favorite F Word – Hollywood Game Night

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When it comes time for all NBC employees to sign their new contracts, it can be difficult to get everyone at once. Offer free pizza, however, and you wont be able to keep them away. So come one come all! The Contestants are monitoring a contract signing/pizza party/game night mixer to see which famous icons will be the best teammates for our inevitable conquest of Hollywood Game Night.

Zach solves a Joel McHale riddle, Jared is concerned about robots, and Adam proposes a lucrative t shirt collaboration.

Talking Points Include: Big Dog Fever, The Masked Singer Watch, Best Host Emmy, How Much Is That Butterworth, Cardiograms, Bad Celebrities, Contract Puzzles, Party Game Instincts, Pizza Delivery Invitations, Joel McHale Sex Riddle

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February 23, 2019

ProCo Episode 55: Cirque Du Hibachi – Minute to Win It

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When you can’t decide whether your best potential Mini-Game Sensei is a circus performer or a hibachi chef, you put those hands together and take it on a worldwide tour. With 190+ possible challenges to face, The Contestants are searching for whoever can best prepare them for the ridiculous gauntlet of household items that stands between them and the finish line of Minute to Win It. 

Zach insists that eggs are comparable to babies, Jared doesn’t know how to feel about Steve-O, and Adam brings back a favorite ‘real of fake’ game segment.

Talking Points Include: Audio Resumes, The Masked Singer Watch, Real Life Mario Party, Gameplay Ratio, Truthies and Falsies Mini-Game Edition, Sensei Shopping, Amish Tortillas, Joining the Circus, Touring With Hibachi

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February 18, 2019

ProCo Episode 54: Gotta Catch The One – The Dating Game

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Happy Smoochie Week everyone! To celebrate we are discussing the most famous matchmaking game show of all time. Except now there are six potential matches who perform physical challenges. Also it takes place in a stadium. And everyone is dressed up like Pokemon. Wait, what was this show originally? Oh, that’s right! The Contestants are giving a modern punch up to The Dating Game.

Zach doesn’t know how Tinder works, Jared is really into Gengar, and Adam accidentally pitches a killery app.

Talking Points Include: Iditarod Hype, The Masked Singer Watch, Smoochie Week, The Dating Game Killer, Boy Stadium 64, Pokemon Type Dating Profiles, Loving on Gengar, Big Purple Attraction, Dangerous Swim Class Games, Personalized Pokemon Dates

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February 11, 2019

ProCo Episode 53: Fishing For Babies – Bet On Your Baby

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We here at Professional Contestants, inc. are no strangers to dicey situations, but even we are having a little trepidation with forming a plan that will land us a baby for a teammate. Buuuuuttt… if a baby just happens to show up to the game show set at the same time as us, it’s not our fault if everyone assumes its ours. With Jack Daniels and Reba on their side, there’s nothing to stop these three men and a baby from winning Bet On Your Baby.

Zach loves Reba, Jared loves Reba, and Adam loves Reba.

Talking Points Include: Polar Vortex, The Masked Singer Watch, Reba Appreciation, COME ON BABY, Baby Clone Trooper, Baby Reba, Baby Geniuses, Finding a Bad Baby, Pink Fong Whiskey Trap

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February 4, 2019

ProCo Episode 52: Oops!… We Failed Heart Surgery Again – The Masked Singer

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Is it Boyz II Men? Is it Destiny’s Child? Is it Billy Joel and his three throats? No one can know for sure when the Magic 8 Ball takes the stage! The Contestants are continuing their campaign to become more prominent in the public eye as they take on the brand new game show, The Masked Singer.

Zach is a sexy mug, Jared is a sexy Joel McHale, and Adam is a sexy crab.

Talking Points Include: Zach’s Painful Ground Pound, Differing Opinions on Quality, Problematic Judges, Emperor’s New Clothes, Varying Sexy, Boyz II Men Teapot, Beauty and The Ken Jeong, Billys Joels, How We Beat Shaq

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January 28, 2019

ProCo Episode 51: Big Doodie Energy – Match Game

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As we all know, having a good role model in life is essential when striving to become a Cool Dood, and when it comes to celebrities, there is no exception. But when there are so many Cool Doods out there, how can we ever be sure that everyone has been matched up with the right mentors? Enter The Contestants, who have solved this issue with one enormous awards show event! It is purely for the improvement of Hollywood’s up and coming Cool Doods. I promise it has nothing to do with the fact that Match Game is taping the same night. For real, stop asking.

Zach returns to the random celebrity generator, Jared is prepared to face difficulty head on, and Adam plays a celebrity mentorship matchmaker.

Talking Points Include: Jared’s Big Coat, Poo Horse, This Elevator Has No Shame, Neil Degrassi Tyson, Return of Our Enemies, Seniors’ Choice Awards, Big Doodie Little Doodie, A Walk Down Enemy Lane

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January 21, 2019

ProCo Episode 50: No Podcasts – Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me!

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March, 2007. I’m on a boat. My mom? Well my mom’s on a slide in the Play Place at the McDonalds in Vancouver, Canada. No, this doesn’t really have anything to do with the episode, but it sure was intriguing, wasn’t it?!?! The Contestants are actually taking a more serious turn this week to try to build a more prominent reputation in the Chicago celebrity community. We’re going to bring our resolutions to fruition as we build a plan to win the NPR news based quiz show, Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me!

Zach writes the first line of a new short novel, Jared gets a hip new nickname, and Adam gets everyone to say the wrong announcer’s name for the entire second half of the episode.

Talking Points Include: Reviewing Our Resolutions, Chicago Celebrities, Hot and Horny NPR, The Rock Soundboard, Happy News Year, New Cool Voices, Brown Line Boys, Jazzy J Bungaloo, Sneaky Self Promotion

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January 14, 2019

ProCo Episode 49: Keep Calm and Carey On – The Power of 10

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It is always darkest before the dawn. All steel must be forged in fire. And all game show hosts must suffer through really crappy game shows before they earn a place in Price is Right Nirvana. But don’t worry 2007 Drew Carey, the ProCo Boys are here to cheer you on. And exploit your struggle just a little bit.

Zach roasts our friend Drew, Jared tries to celebrate an anniversary, and Adam wants to know what a “good” trap is.

Talking Points: An Anniversary (Kind Of), The Best and the Worst, All Kinds of Cancelled, A Fetus?, Carey Me Home, She Love Ivan, The Most Average Prize, What Q’s Drew Wants to Know, Buy Stock in Denny’s

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January 7, 2019

ProCo Episode 48: Murder Pranks – Ellen’s Game of Games

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When the world’s greatest detective is the one who is murdered, who is left to discover the culprit? Probably the other two world’s greatest detectives who showed up with them. The Contestants are daring to walk away from Ellen Degeneres’ new game show not only with the top money prize, but also with the new title of Masters of Pranks. We are bringing murder mystery to Ellen’s Game of Games.

Zach is McGruff the Crime Dog, Jared is Hercule Poirot, and Adam is Nancy Drew.

Talking Points Include: Energy Man, Cryptic Santa, Prank Or Gaslight, Pranking the Prank Master, Ellen’s Best Friends, Candy Bar Bribery, Ellen The Generous, The World’s Greatest Detectives

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December 31, 2018

ProCo Episode 47: Humans F**k Off – The Great Christmas Light Fight

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Happy Holidays All! The Contestants are getting into the holiday spirit, and for us that means adopting a sloth son and planning a wedding at the zoo. Join us in our holiday festivities and watch us win The Great Christmas Light Fight if you would like. Just be cool and don’t ruin the animal atmosphere by being a stupid human.

Zach fills out various forms, Jared ponders sloth kisses, and Adam learns some bad news about Koko.

Talking Points Include: The Night Before Christmas, Winter Solstice, Horny for Christmas, Bill’s Peaceful Rest, The Santa Box, Destructive Children, The Zoo Application, Adopting a Son, Zoo Break, Mid Episode Mail, Wedding Planning, Progressive Parenting, Koko’s B Sides

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December 24, 2018