ProCo Episode 87: Travelin’ Boys – Best Bits Ep. 8-20

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Sometimes your favorite team of professional game show contestants have to leave their homes (and audio equipment) for prolonged periods of time to visit other states. This happened to be the case for all three of them during the last two weeks. But lucky you! Despite our inability to record, you are still getting a ProCo clip episode featuring some of our best bits from some of our earliest schemes.

Zach was out of town for two weeks, Jared was out of town for four days, and Adam was out of town for three days.

Talking Points Include: Chopped, Guy’s Grocery Games, Wipeout, Beat Shazam, Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader, The Joker’s Wild, 1 vs 100, Pyramid, Hole In The Wall, Merv Griffin’s Crosswords, Cram, Double Dare, What Would You Do

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September 30, 2019

ProCo Episode 86: Definitely Chris Hansen – Repo Games

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We’re about to get into some dicey legal territory here, and we know it. When taking on an enemy that serves nothing but low blows, sometimes you have to stoop to its level. But if we have to border on breaking the law, we better make sure we bring along an expert. The Contestants are teaming up with The King of Entrapment to take down the steaming pile of garbage known as Repo Games.

Zach knows what extortion is, Jared has a story about tree law, and Adam suggests the inclusion of a master trickster.

Talking Points Include: The Year’s Scariest Things, Mr. Jack’s Pumpkin Ball, A Very Bad Game Show, Repo The Repo, Getting Away With Entrapment, Chris Hansen’s Many Tricks, The Bank of His Chransen, Most Desirable Crimes, Tree Law

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September 23, 2019

ProCo Episode 85: Ham On Strike – Supermarket Sweep

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When a time comes where employees feel that they are being treated unfairly by their employer, these individuals have the right to cause work stoppage via a refusal to work. It is a time honored practice that has existed for centuries, and what we have proposed is no different. Except for the laborer is ham and the employer is a bad game show. Make sure you’re stocked up because The Contestants are marching on The Capitol and no one is getting ham until we fix some serious issues with Supermarket Sweep!

Zach is buying booze, Jared is buying drugs, and Adam is buying ham.

Talking Points Include: Pumpkin v Apple, Mail Time, Fake Food, The Horrible Reboot, A Pro Juice Podcast, Marching On D.C., Help From Charlotte, Drifting Shopping Carts, Jason Statham as William Howard Taft, Drugs Booze and Ham

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September 16, 2019

ProCo Episode 84: Beef Me Up, Jesus! – American Gladiators

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Gather around children, and the Professional Contestants will tell you the story of when Jesus and his disciples went on a game show and fed the entire crew with a single lox bagel. Is it a true story? Probably not. But if I were you I wouldn’t punch the guy. Just in case. American Gladiators is our church, and if you don’t Christ is down here playing Own The Bone you’ve got another guess coming!

Zach is Derrick, Jared is Mr. Trumpet, and Adam is Nipz.

Talking Points Include: NYC Bingo Revisited, Jimmy Fallon The Slime Man, Building Our Gladiators, Blue Man Hibachi, The Caesys, Sweeties Down Under, Interview Skills, Beefy Jeezy, Feeding Of The 5 Billion, Buff Judas

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September 9, 2019

ProCo Episode 83: We Are Pleased To Announce That Jafar Is In Hell – Tenable

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Disney has been pretty wild lately: Marvel this, Star Wars that, and live-action remakes all over the dang place. However, with all the new classic Disney movies becoming the new cannon we have good news: Jafar, the Scourge of Agrabah, is being punished in the afterlife for his many sins. The Bad News: he’s trying to get out, and his escape is the premise for our new game show.

Zach explains trivia, Jared ascends, and Adam lists off some prime sins.

Talking Points Include: Jared the TP Man, In a New York Bingo, Trivia Ain’t Trivial, Welcome to HELL, The Many Crimes of Jafar, For the Love of God Don’t Let Jafar Escape

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September 2, 2019

ProCo Episode 81: Twenty Years of Young Sheldon – Card Sharks

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Wow. It seemed like yesterday America’s favorite boy was learning about science and cracking catch phrases all over the place. But now, we at the Professional Contestants are proud to celebrate TWENTY YEARS of the Smart Lad. Time really does fly huh? He’s all grown up now. Like, really grown.

Hey, why is Young Sheldon 50 ft. tall?

Zach knows nothing about Ant-Man, Jared knows too much about Ant-Man, and Adam is throwing a party in Joel McHale’s pants.

Talking Points Include: Millionaire Birthday, Entirely Too Much Ant-Man Talk, There’s a Party in Joel’s Pants, Iron Maid-Ant, EGOT, Big Young Sheldon

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August 19, 2019

ProCo Episode 80: The Old Biff Paradox – Legends of the Hidden Temple

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So you can go ahead and congratulate us for winning Legends of the Hidden Temple. We’ve already done it. And though you may be wondering how we won a game show that only existed before two of us were born, the answer is actually quite simple: time travel. The Contestants are challenging the fabric of space and time itself in their great finale of this years Summer of Summers.

Zach yearns for a yacht podcast, Jared brags about his proper astronomy education, and Adam tries his best to explain time travel theories he doesn’t fully understand.

Talking Points Include: Summer’s End, Double-0-Yacht Talk, The Return of Jafar, Ninja Turtle Astronomy, WB Kids Cartoons, Time Travel Theories, The Comb of Albert Einstein, Empress Eugenie, DTTT, Fat Thor

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August 12, 2019

ProCo Episode 79: Studies With Wolves – Fetch! with Ruff Ruffman

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Knock knock! Who’s there? Why Cesar Millan of course, here to work his magic and train a problem dog. Wait, what’s that? There’s no dog? Just three dudes who are trying to learn how to make a dog like them? You bet! The Contestants are trying to get inside the mind of a dog and become more appealing to the host of the PBS game show Fetch! with Ruff Ruffman.

Zach has experience in distributing fake points, Jared proposes a magical janitor swap, and Adam doesn’t think he can learn anything from Cesar Millan.

Talking Points Include: Yawn Deja Vu, Dog Jay Leno, Camp Points, Dumbledore Style, Lord Vulnerable, Becoming Good Boys, Mi Bisabuela, Human Whisperer, An Eleventh Hour Werewolf

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August 5, 2019

ProCo Episode 78: Mike Ditka Belongs in a Museum – Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego

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When hunting a geographically gifted criminal mastermind, it can be near impossible to track her down, let alone predict where she is going next. But if we could lure her to us with Mike Ditka and a bottle of malort, now we’re getting somewhere. The Contestants are after the world’s most mobile thief who puts the Miss in misdemeanor as they take on Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego.

Zach thinks Carmen Sandiego is a bird, Jared thinks Carmen Sandiego will want to steal the first hat, and Adam thinks Carmen Sandiego has the power of teleportation.

Talking Points Include: Birthday Week, Ruff Housing, Rockapella, World’s Best Henchmen, Wildest Thefts, Return to Shoe, The Most Chicago Things, Batman Galas, Malort Tracking Device

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July 29, 2019

ProCo Episode 77: Aggro Shaq – Nickelodeon Guts

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The days are long, the weather is hot, and the sun is high in the sky. As we breathe in that hot, humid air, there’s only one that is on our mind. It’s back! The Summer of Summers has returned to the Professional Contestants once again. In the search for this summer’s honoree, we first find ourselves facing an iconic monolith in children’s competition shows. No, not the Aggro Crag, I’m referring to Shaquille O’Neal. Come along as we fix all the problems with Nickelodeon Guts.

Zach fears Reggie Miller’s disappointment, Jared fears Lightning McQueen, and Adam fears his butt being shown on a jumbotron.

Talking Points Include: Return of The Summer of Summers, Mark It Days, Host Appreciation, Ultimate Sports Fantasies, Pantsing Tom Brady, Sports Nightmares, Employing a Boggart, Stealing From Shaq

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July 22, 2019