ProCo Episode 97: Burn Notice Live! – 25 Words or Less

Ok, here’s the deal. You can either see Burn Notice perform on a beach for $50, or in a bar for $10. What? You don’t know Burn Notice? Remember how they were stranded on a desert island for seven years and have now returned to perform their once great television show in a live format? Oh, and they’re really good at 25 Words or Less now too.

Zach thinks he’s seen Johnny English, Jared thinks he knows who Bruce Campbell is, and Adam thinks no one has strong feelings about Meredith Vieira.

Talking Points Include: One Word Intro, Bustin’ on Ben Franklin, True Neutral Meredith, Jeff Dunham’s Unmatched Power, Camp Lost, Island Entertainment, Funny Spies, The Johnny English Secret, Peanut Butter Distraction

0 Comments

ProCo Episode 96: 2 Fast 2 British – Pointless

Double-decker bus: British. Double-decker bus with a Union Jack on the side: more British. Double-decker bus with a Union Jack on the side that serves you tea: extremely British. Double-decker bus with a Union Jack on the side where the person who serves you tea is dressed as a bear? I mean, if it’s surrounded by this many ultra British things, the Tea Bear must be a British thing too, right?

Zach is Mr. Queen, Jared is Big Ben, and Adam is The Beefeater.

Talking Points Include: Rivalry Trophy Game, Bonus Host, A Jimmy On The Side, Trashing England, Reviewing The Playbook, The Tea Bear, Merlin’s Mustard Hat, Alternate British Personas

0 Comments

ProCo Episode 95: The Bygone Art of The Nut Kick – Animal Crack-Ups

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am pleased to inform you that we have conceptualized the funniest possible video. It involves a limo driving lion and Joe Pesci with a cast on his nuts and I DARE you to find something funnier. Step aside AFV, The Contestants are coming for the funny home video throne with their reimagined take on Animal Crack-Ups.

Zach thinks mild pain is funny, Jared thinks big things are funny, Adam thinks unexpected things are funny.

Talking Points Include: What We’re Thankful For, Villain Themes, Thicke Talk, VR Chilling with The Rock, Cat Vids, A History of Nut Kickers, Whale Humor, Jurassic Park’s Missed Opportunity, Limo Lion, Airplane Chicken

0 Comments

ProCo Episode 94: Big. Strong. Sexy. Beefy. Lunchbox. – Starcade

It’s Friday night. You’re at the arcade. For some reason, one particular cabinet calls to you. You pop in a couple of quarters and the game begins, but you are unable to play due to how stunned you are by the attractiveness of the game’s protagonist. A VERY sexy lunchbox. You game over, having never moved, and yet you pop in two more quarters just to get another look at, I cannot stress this enough, A VERY SEXY LUNCHBOX. Don’t ask how, but this lunchbox’s power is about to make us champions of Starcade!

Zach invents a paperclip game, Jared invents a lunchbox game, and Adam invents a jack-o’-lantern game.

Talking Points Include: Why We Do Cold Opens, Curl Bits, Petite Pac-Man, Nonexistent Episodes, Mario’s Butt, Cheat Codes, Stalin’s Ghost’s Literature, Michael Jordan’s 58008 Secret, Creating Bad Arcade Games, The Donkey Kong Lineage

0 Comments

ProCo Episode 93: Chief of the Kitchen – MasterChef

Things we know about MasterChef: Gordon Ramsay is mean, you’ve gotta cook real good, the title of MasterChef doesn’t really hold any clout. Things we know about Halo: Bill Gates created it, there’s a bunch of space tech and aliens, Master Chief sounds kinda like Master Chef. Logically, we’re gonna put those hands together. MasterChef better watch out, cause it’s about to smell what The Chief is cookin’.

Zach knows nothing about Halo, Jared knows nothing about Halo, and Adam knows a little bit about Halo.

Talking Points Include: Grandma’s Exotic Meats, Gordon Shows, RuneScape Capes, Bill’s Bathtub Buddha Time, Master Chef Fraud, Sonic x Frodo, Master Chief’s Eating Habits, Cooking with Space Tech, Pitbull’s Space Party, A Permanent Life as The Chief

0 Comments

ProCo Episode 92: God Wheels It – Spin the Wheel

Perhaps the reason we don’t see many modern day prophets is because it can be difficult to know when a higher power is talking to you. That being said, Justin Timberlake certainly noticed when God told him to build a four story roulette wheel for a new Fox game show. I mean, there is really no other explanation for why they would produce a tv program where you watch a wheel spin for an hour. The Contestants are looking to get the attention of this new holy prophet to secure a spot on Spin the Wheel.

Zach gets invested in volcanoes, Jared believes The Wheel may be a god, and Adam discovers recent life in a childhood magazine.

Talking Points Include: Quintessential Halloween Movie, The John Stamos Video Puzzle, Identical Game Shows, A Wheel Based Religion, The Good Prophet Justin Timberlake, “Cool God,” Scouts In Action, Boys’ Life Podcast, Finding Our Good Deed, Kickstarting A Volcano

0 Comments

ProCo Episode 91: Trap House Team Building Retreat – Saw II

Come one, come all, to Jigsaw’s team building retreat, where you’re guaranteed to either grow closer to your co-workers through collaboration and shared trauma, or die trying! Just make sure you get out quickly, or Donnie Wahlberg might burst in and beat you up. On this Snake Day 2019, we continue our journey through the scariest game show of all time and once again face our nemesis Jigsaw in the next installment of the Saw franchise.

Zach is gonna get a hair trap, Jared is gonna get a bread trap, and Adam is gonna get a coffee trap.

Talking Points Include: Snake Day Celebrations, Ending Spooky Stigmas, Jigsaw’s Credibility, Bop It Origins, Grandma Punching, Shabooya Role Call, Don’t Mess Up Blue Bloods, Spooky Apprentice, Life Saving Wood Plank, Donnie Wahlberg vs Old Man

0 Comments

ProCo Episode 90: Tell Us, Teller! – Exit

Listen folks, some game shows are just nothing, and Syfy’s Exit might as well not have existed. However, no matter what we think of it (or if it even qualifies as “scary”,) we here at ProCo Inc. gotta catch em’ all. But that doesn’t mean we have to actually participate in Exit, per se. Sometimes all we have to do is kidnap a famous magician and make him sing to us naked. Don’t @ us.

Zach is frightened by Facebook events, Jared’s money is tied up in pendulums, and Adam is reluctant to kidnap comedy magician Teller.

Talking Points Include: Chili Talk, Bingo Spoils, Fake TV Death, A Curious Killer, Personalized Spooky Rooms, Forced Masterclass, Snowden’s Secrets, Stabbing Knife vs Cooking Knife, Everyday Fears, Impromptu TED Talk, Teller in Hell

0 Comments

ProCo Episode 89: Beta Theta Theta (ßΘΘ) – 13: Fear Is Real

Knives, snakes, clowns, and spiders. Things that we can all agree are generally pretty scary. Old ladies, dapper clothes, race cars, and DJ booths. Things that we can all agree are pretty dang cool. Now put those hands together and we’re dealing with the most interesting fraternity anyone’s ever witnessed. And with this cool new Greek life on the set of 13: Fear Is Real, there’s no way The Mastermind can convince us to do any of his scary challenges!

Zach improves a clown by adding a race car, Jared improves an old lady by adding knives, and Adam improves a snake by adding a top hat.

Talking Points Include: Cold Open Lightning Round, Masked Singer Watch, Lady MacGlove, Fart Hazing, Three Little Creepies, Old Lady Knife Hands, Dapper Snake, Race Car Clown, DJ Spider, The Greatest Party Ever, Cleaning Up After Ourselves

0 Comments

ProCo Episode 88: Tickle Me Kronk – Panic Button

BOO! Are you scared? Good, because the spooky season has returned to us! No, not the one that everyone celebrates that starts with an H. We are of course talking about Snake With Big Teeth Month! Join us as we face off against the scariest game shows that television has to offer. This week, however, television barely has a game show to offer us, let alone anything scary. Nonetheless, we are checking one more off the list as we rob Panic Button of its most precious resource, snakes.

Zach ponders Captain Hook’s age, Jared wants to fit in with the other snake owners, and Adam hopes for empathetic monkeys.

Talking Points Include: Snake With Big Teeth, Appropriate Costumes, Prizeless and Winless, Snakes in Bulk, Florida Pythons, Our Ideal Snakes, Snake Garters, “Real” Fears, Captain Hook v Jesus, Monkey v Snake, Just Taking The Snakes

0 Comments